winter: (writing)
Beth Winter ([personal profile] winter) wrote2005-01-30 04:53 pm

Creative woes

Life continues to kick me. But I have other problems, too.

Opening line of current oeuvre:

"Paris was grey. The stones glistened in the rain like the bones of old gods, and chimney-smoke soiled the last survivors of the snowfields that had briefly bleached the city's face only weeks before. Water dripping from the edge of a roof to a balcony below rang out a funeral march."

I need to find a hammer and knock my new muse on the head ~_~ Erik, I know you're down and out and everything, but could you please try not to make me write like Anne bloody Rice?

EDIT

New version:

"Paris was grey. The stones glistened in the rain like frosted glass, and chimney-smoke soiled the last survivors of the snowfields that had briefly bleached the city only weeks before. Water dripping from the edge of a roof to a balcony below rang out a solo in three-eight time. Her companion was prone to translating everything into opera."

That's better. A bit.

[identity profile] malike.livejournal.com 2005-01-30 09:51 am (UTC)(link)
True, it is much better.

[identity profile] pinkdormouse.livejournal.com 2005-01-30 11:27 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, you.

Gina

[identity profile] tehta.livejournal.com 2005-01-30 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, so much better. Amazing what a great difference small details, like loss of "face", can make.